Posts Tagged ‘ emotions ’

Now Playing 12.30.09

Music is a major outlet for me. When I feel a certain way that I don’t care to express outwardly, I let the music “speak” for/to me. This is my escape. My understanding. A place I can call my own. Then I write…

  1.  The Climb – Miley Cyrus
  2. Bitch – Meredith Brooks
  3. Just Like A Pill – P!nk
  4. Hero – Mariah Carey
  5. Killing Me Softly – The Fugees
  6. Houstatlantavegas* – Drake
  7. Boulevard of Broken Dreams* – Green Day
  8. You Were Meant For Me – Jewel
  9. Stop Falling – P!nk
  10. Disappear – Beyonce
  11. Lucky* – Britney Spears
  12. Family Portrait – P!nk
  13. H.A.T.E.U. – Mariah Carey
  14. Obvious – Christina Aguilera
  15. Paparazzi – Lady Gaga
  16. Hands – Jewel
  17. Don’t Let Me Get Me* – P!nk
  18. Reflection – Christina Aguilera

*these songs stand out the most

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Let’s Be Real

I’m sickly at the moment and in addition to this I realize I am rather emotional/moody. A lot of raw emotions are here and I figured I would vent about things I know that many feel, but may not necessarily say. What sparked this fire? Well, when I talk to somebody I tend to save messages, but never really look at them again, usually I realize I still have them when that person is no longer in my life.. aka bad time to look over old messages.

The ones I saw tonight made my heart heavy, because as always, it started out great (the relationship that is). Yeah, I know I’m not interested in love, but I thought in this case a friendship was a possibility, but everything changed and as usual, I backed off, because that’s what I do. I don’t “sweat” people. I don’t pressure people to hit me up or to be in my life. I don’t want anyone around that doesn’t want to be around. It’s a tough rule to uphold sometimes, especially if I don’t agree with the person’s decision to leave, but what can ya do? Lol, stalker isn’t my twist at all and won’t be! So I let go who wants to be let go, keeping in mind I had a life before, during and after them… male or female.. I’m talking about general relationships here, nothing “deep.” I won’t front, I did like that one, but I guess “it is what it is” and I will just leave it that way.

I refuse to put myself on the frontline for something I didn’t want to “go” anywhere anyhow. I just value real friendships and thought that one might’ve lasted a lot longer than it did, but such as life (I guess). That bridge is apparently burned (I guess). I just can’t bring myself to erase the messages.. well at least not yet. Ladies, I know y’all understand how I feel. When you first meet somebody and there is a vibe (finally!) and then after a while they fade (like the rest of them), but you didn’t want that one to fade, but you can’t make them stay. It sucks, that is all I’m really trying to say. Maybe these ((cramps)) are talkin, but that is just how I feel right now. Tomorrow may be different or maybe it won’t.

“..maybe it’s me, maybe I bore you.. a no-no, it’s my fault, cuz I can’t afford you..” -John Legend

“..I just wonder, do you ever think of me anymore.. do you?..” -Ne-Yo

“..I know we haven’t spoken for a while, but I thought about ya and it kinda made me smile.. ..I’ve tried & I’ve tried to get you out my mind, but it don’t get no better as each day goes by.. ..do you know I kept all of your pictures? haven’t had the heart to part with them yet.. tried to erase the way your kisses taste, but some things a girl can never forget..” -Rihanna

Signed, I Used to Love H.I.M

“..I was just waiting for your phone call, when they came along to say that a rose done chased you clear away.. broke my choux pastry heart.. ..don’t wanna lose ya, don’t even own ya.. I just wanna stay right here until never dawns, yeah..” -Corinne Bailey Rae

“..it used to feel like heaven, it used to feel like May.. ..nobody wants to face the truth, but you won’t believe what love can do til it happens to u..” -Corinne Bailey Rae