Archive for the ‘ Sex ’ Category

It’s All Fun & Games Until…

Consequences? Who worries about those? Correction, who worries about consequences when in the heat of the moment? Not everybody! There are many things in life that we choose to take chances and still be completely aware of what may be due us. This is understandable, but there are certain things that we ought  to not play Russian roulette with. The saying  goes ‘when you play with fire you will get burned’, well…….. (sometimes).

It’s all fun and games until……

You Get That Call. I realize that there are moments when things can get out of hand and in the heat of the moment stupid decisions don’t seem like such a bad idea. You’re in the moment and everything is perfect, but neither of you have a condom. You make the dumbest excuses ever. You think, “so-and-so looks clean” or “just this one time and then never again” or other idiotic home remedies to avoid possible trouble you’ve heard of. The worse part is that there are some of you that don’t care at all. There are others of you that fall in love every other week and since that’s your alleged “boo” you don’t feel the need to protect yourself. You put yourself in situations where you pray for your period. You put yourself in situations where you dread the call from the jump off conveniently 4 weeks after you hit. You say you’re grown and can do what you want. This is true. Let me be the 1st, 2nd or 50th to remind you of that when you need help with that kid you didn’t plan on having for that marvelous 3 and a half minutes way back when. The risks are your choice, but as I previously stated…

It’s all fun and games until……

You Get That Itch. There are people walking around with smiles on their faces and disease in their bodies. I don’t care how much you bathe, how great the sex/head is nor how good you smell, it will not erase an STD. I know of people that are fully aware that they have HIV and still do not care who they take down with them. When did it become uncool to go to the doctors? When did it become okay to be stupid when it comes to your health? It’s not so cute to brag about how many bad b*tches you f*ck when your d*ck is hanging on for dear life. All that “him” talk comes to a screeching halt when your vag starts doing cart wheels.

In most cases, no, in all cases it is not worth it! Don’t play with your life for a momentary “pleasure” that you may have to live with for the rest of your life. To many of you, I am speaking in vain, but I guess for others it will take having your 4th kid or your 5th abortion. Maybe it will take seeing yourself disintegrate  in the mirror because you got hit with something you cannot shake or had a curable STD for so long that you now have permanent damage. The moral of this story is that NO, you can’t put the head in and NO you can’t wait until you get a chick to get on all fours to sneak that condom off and NO it’s not cool to poke holes in condoms. Many of us need to inquire a little further before we select who we lay with. You need to get stuck up about your health and read up on health related issues in regards to sex and everything else. Be aware of the risks with oral sex, kissing, and other things that can be transmitted. Take care of yourselves! You don’t wanna have to blame it on the alcohol for the rest of your life.

-Signed, Wrap It Up!

“…and all that he can say is ‘baby, it’s good to me’…”

Worst I Ever Had

Sex is one of the greatest wins since creation, but not always. Some of us have had some “interesting” experiences that may be embarrassing, something you’d rather forget, bizarre or just down right wrong! I hate for bad sex to happen to anyone, but it does happen and most of the time no one informs their partner that they weren’t feelin’ it. I don’t know if there are too many feelings worse than having bad sex and being expected to actually speak to the person afterwards. I have a 3-strike policy (too generous, I know), but I know I’ve been in situations where I just wanted to leave and didn’t care if it was a safe hour to do so. It’s understandable to not want to come at somebody that way because it can be a vulnerable experience for some and you don’t want them to end up like the 40 year old virgin and never try again (lol). So I gathered some feedback from some of you (my faithful readers) to composite some sex no-no’s and oh no’s.

“Don’t bore me, just show me” -Beyonce

Don’t You Hate A Shy Chick? Everyone isn’t the aggressive type, I realize this, but at some point in your adult life a girl’s got to come out of that shell. I consider it to be looked at like a stage performance. Maybe you aren’t the type that is up for an audience, but sometimes in life you get put on the spot and you just have to go for it. Well, guess what? Sex is your stage and your partner is your audience. All that shy sh*t is teenage behavior and not sexy. If you don’t know how to do something or if you don’t know what to do, I suggest you get your study on, because guess what girl friend, you could look like Halle Berry but laying on your back like a corpse is NOT cutting it. If you don’t want to participate in the class then don’t come. If you don’t like head, treat it like vegetables and learn to love it. Take one for the team and go for it. Don’t keep quoting “look ma, no hands” when you’re giving dry, lazy head. You can keep all that to yourself. If you can’t take a d*ck then I honestly don’t know what to tell you. Ladies, don’t talk dirty if you don’t get down like that.

“All that talk but it seems like it can’t come through… All them lies like you could satisfy me, now I see where believing you got me… Gave you the wheel, but you can’t drive me” -Destiny’s Child

He Got A Big… “Ego”. I’ve always said that men are like crackheads when it comes to p*ssy. They will say and do almost anything in the heat of the moment to get it. There ain’t nothing like getting all gassed up and being left thinking I should’ve had another mechanic under my hood (Mariah Carey). Disappointment isn’t the word. Destiny’s Child said it best with “Two things I don’t like when I tryin’ to get my groove, is a parter that meets me only half way and just can’t prove.
Take me out so deep when you know you can’t swim.” Some people need to stay in their own lane and ladies, we need to stop telling these fail whales that they are tearing it up when you know you were thinking about a million and one other things that you could be doing while he’s doing you. The ironic thing is the level of arrogance that the most terrible guys have and you think to yourself “and you acting like it’s all of that… I’m not feelin’ it… let’s go lil kitty kat” (Beyonce). I understand that a man’s pride/ego is as fragile as our emotions, but sometimes it needs to be said. Otherwise, there leaves room for more opportunities for Mr. Baggy Magnum, Mr. It’s Not Even In But You Still Going, Mr. No Stroke Just Grind, and you just want it to be over (and chances are…. about 60 seconds later, it is). Then you get the “your p*ssy is too good” line *yawn*, the jury is still out on that one!

False Advertisement. At the end of the day, it is my hope that everyone have passionate and fulfilling sex, but those fails can really mess with a person’s head (more so women than men, because y’all will just go f*ck somebody else). As men, y’all have to hope you don’t get your balls skinned by bad head. And women, we have to become special agents to weed out the all men talk but don’t please (Beyonce) types.

“I don’t think you understand, how real it is for me to find a man who thinks he can… So give it to me right or don’t give it to me at all” -Melanie Fiona

-Signed, C’mere Rude Boy Boy

Bitches Runnin’ Wild

It’s been years since I learned about supply and demand, but I must say that “hoes” are at an all time high. It’s like pick your flavor and whoop there it is (lol, but seriously). You have arrogant hoes, busted hoes, corny hoes, drunk hoes, egotistical hoes, fat hoes and we could go on for days. Despite the benefits (to some), these females giving out unlimited samples of their va-jay-jay, the disadvantages are greater. Consider why you do what you do, what you’re doing to yourself, and if you’re a mother, consider how you’re impacting the next generation.

“Q: What’s the difference between a ho and a b*tch? A ho f*cks everybody, but a b*tch f*cks everybody but you!” -Fear of A Black Hat

Scandal! I’ve heard some wild stories about how scandalous people can be. I have witnessed families fight, friendships broken, relationships ruined, usually due to pillow talking. Lives can be loss over BS like that, but it is as if people don’t look at the long-term effects of a momentary jump off. Dudes will blast their closest homie’s personal business, people get set up to get robbed and/or murdered. People puttin’ hoes over their family out here. Not to mention the STD rates, because people are making foolishness spontaneous decisions. You never know homie about these hoes homie… you need to pump ya breaks and drive slow! (Kanye). To make matters worse, there are some of y’all that’s out here wifin’ these skeezers. How foul is she and you wifed her? (Jay-Z)

“…Never trust a big butt and a smile…” -Bel Biv Devoe

Some of these chicks are so vicious that they aren’t even after your money, they just want to get at you to make your girl mad. They do these things to cause scenes and to get attention and many of y’all entertain it. The sadder part of that is when the real women begin to doubt themselves and feel like, ‘it’s foolish of me to compete when you cheat with loose women‘ (Beyonce). There are plenty of guys that lose good women cuz you chasin’ funky hookers (Three Times Dope).

I’ve said all of this to say that though some of us are merely onlookers of this f*ckery, everyone has a personal responsibility for who they allow themselves to be around and/or become. There are no victims in the life you choose. Ladies, you don’t have to try to be something you’re not in order to attract attention you actually don’t need. Fellas, you don’t accidentally trip, slip and fall in no p*ssy, so act accordingly and get a ho detector (if you so choose). It is beyond real out here and a lot of these children are products and witnesses of others living recklessly.

-Signed, She Was A Ho Fo Shooo

“Keep your ho on a leash”

“booty all out lookin’ trashy”

Don’t Confuse The Facts

I know being creative is encouraged throughout life, but fabrication is an entirely different playing field. I find myself coming across several situations where people have imagined things they wish for, but are obviously not the case. What do I mean by this? What am I referring to? I’m glad you wondered! I’m talking about those that claim certain situations are more than what they actually were.

The “Boy”. There are many females running rapid “claiming” people that are likely not even aware. Just because the person has your number doesn’t mean y’all together. Just because you went out maybe once or twice doesn’t mean y’all together. Just because y’all have great conversations doesn’t mean y’all together. And guess what? Just because y’all fucked doesn’t mean y’all together! What goes through people’s minds to make up entire relationships from something that was simple, then wonder why he’s just not that into you. Maybe it’s because you are doing entirely too much! Being overly possessive has never been sexy. I don’t know if these people hallucinate or what, but something isn’t processing in the sanity department.

It Was Just Sex? In our generation, casual sex is pretty much the norm. In a lot of situations, instead of people leaving things as they are by just saying it is what it is, they create these bizarre connections. Don’t get it twisted, this isn’t just ladies. There are many fellas that get interested in a female and try to arm wrestle her into a relationship. The jealousy begins. The how many people you talk to questions begin to arise. Clocking, stalking, and interrogation is at an all new high coming from people that are not an item.

“…yeah we fucked, bitch so what…” -Eminem

I say this because it annoys me to see this. I also say this because I don’t like getting those random messages or dirty stares from broads I don’t know, especially over dudes I barely associate with. The point of this blog is just as the title says, don’t confuse the facts. I like you doesn’t mean I’m in love with you. Just because we chilled doesn’t mean you’re the only person that gets my time. Just because I’m nice to you doesn’t mean anything beyond that unless you are advised otherwise. Don’t get caught up in your feelings and be disappointed as if anyone else is responsible for them. I hope you cuckoo birds find some sanity in your unrealistic worlds. 🙂

-Signed, Sane in the City

“you don’t want that, neither do I… I don’t wanna flip when I see you with guys” -Eminem

Body Chemistry

Close your eyes for a moment and think about what you want then think about what you get. Close your eyes again and reflect on what you do and what you do not do. Though this could be applicable in other ways, apply these thoughts to your sex life. First, what’s right with it? What’s wrong with it? The answer to both questions are technically ‘you’ for the most part. Though sex is a topic I tend to shy away from, not because I’m uncomfortable discussing it, that is nowhere near the case, I just feel it’s not everybody’s business and I have every right to withhold what I will. However, I decided to venture into a topic that consumes a vast majority of my thoughts. I’m sure I don’t stand alone. Sex is no secret and we all didn’t arrive into this world by osmosis, so here we are and here we go!

“Shawty rainin’ wet up in my ear talkin’ ’bout ‘I got what you came for, this here got your name on it'” -Usher

“If I was your woman, the things I’d do to you, but I’m not so I can’t and I won’t… if I was your girl” -Janet Jackson

WANTS: Eyes Want VS Mind wants VS Heart wants VS Body wants. I’ve realized there are several levels to attraction and attractiveness. I also noticed that sometimes, (often times) these attractions do not always agree and despite wants, it is what it is. You’ve heard people say “the heart wants what it wants” well when it comes to sexual attraction I see the same. You can have someone aesthetically pleasing to your eyes, but not feel their personality and all other sorts of combinations. Sometimes you could be physically attracted to someone, but your body isn’t “feelin’ them” the way you think it should. You could be into one person, but your body dries up like a sponge out of water or the opposite. Though it’s frustrating, if that interest is truly there, it can be worked with.

“Giving you the rest of my love, but what if I tell you too much… …can you handle it if I go there baby with you?” -Usher

“I wanna put my fingers thru your hair/Wrap me up in your legs and love you till your eyes roll back/I’m tryin to put you to bed/Then Imma rock your body, turn you over, love is war/I’m your soldier/Touching you like it’s our first time” -J. Holiday

Casual Sex Pros & Woes. We live in a generation where casual sex is common. Though I’m not a fan of it for some reasons that I’ll allude to, I also see that sometimes in certain situations, it is what it is. However, when you put yourself in these predicaments you have to consider your wants. If all you want is a nut, then that isn’t a difficult desire to fulfill, but if you seek great fulfilling sex, there are some things that need to be there and body chemistry is one of them. Just like dancing, it can mess up the flow of things if you’re going one way and your partner is going another. Learning each other’s bodies, rhythms, wants, interests and so on are vital. If you’re wild and passionate, then one round won’t do it and to deal with someone that’s “one and done” then knocked out asleep can be frustrating. In my experience, if I’m not feeling the situation, it’s almost as if I’ve forgotten all I know and just want to get it over with (unfortunately), but I’m in the process of stopping that foolishness. Ladies, I know you can understand where I’m coming from when you don’t want to bruise a man’s ego, so sometimes you say or possibly do things you don’t really mean. This is my weakness when it comes to lying, especially since I hate lying even about the most seemingly minute things. It happens to the best of us right? Eh… anyways!

“Don’t you be afraid to let me elevate you/welcome you to super duper Jupiter love” -Trey Songs

I can only speak for myself, but it’s nothing worse than being down for whatever when you do choose someone to deal with and find out they’re a prude or it’s wack. The disadvantage is that you don’t know until you know, and especially with women, some of us try to keep that body count number low. Guys run game on what they can and will do and then a song interlude later you find him asleep and you’re like WTF?! Some guys think that because they’re “blessed” size-wise that they can’t have bad sex. Wrong! We can just call that a painful mess (lol). As for females, they can think that because they have a nice body and they’re vagina is tight that they are in the clear, you can still be wack. Laying around like you’re in a coma with the phony moans and groans are a waste of both parties’ time.

“Can’t nobody do it like us/can’t nobody mix, chop, and screw it like us/all over the living room hittin’ it like us/in the middle of the night wake up the building like us” -R.Kelly

Taking Center Stage. With great, fun, passionate sex, confidence is key, even if you don’t know what you’re doing, you just need to learn to fake it til you make it. No, I don’t mean fake orgasms or tell somebody they’re the best you ever had. But sometimes you just have to take a chance and go for it. It’s like acting, you may have stage fright or nerves, but it is something about hitting that stage that can make a person come to life in such a way that would convince an “audience” that they’re a pro. It’s all a matter of your will and if you’re willing to go there then I’m sure there will be encores. There’s an art to sex and oral sex and any true artist is always seeking to perfect their craft.

“I try to be lady-like, but I got you here tonight/but something happens when we slow dance” -Keri Hilson

“A kiss on my lips, a hand in my hair, a body to keep me warm while I’m sittin’ in his chair/Her voice is sayin’ no I don’t want you to go/I don’t want you to leave/a chest to lay my head/your leg between my legs, a whisper in your ear sayin’ ooh baby right there” -Letoya Luckett

A person who can work their tongue in such a way that you have to occasionally stop them because you think you can’t take it is a speechless experience. Being on the same page with a person to the point that you can’t get enough, remarkable! You might accidentally break things, lose buttons, pop bra straps, get rug burns, biting, scratching, hair pulling, dehydration, and maybe even notice some slight bruises later on, but hey, if you’re into that kinda thing then it’s a small price to pay. Not everyone experiences great sex and even if you’re the thrill-seeker type, you won’t experience that with every partner you have. Not everyone is willing to be creative or take risks. Even if it’s a casual thing, I find it to be beneficial to know if you’re on the same page. Some people are walking mannequins and you feel scammed to find out it wasn’t hittin’ for what you had hoped, but it happens to the best of us.

“They might think my name is ‘oh shit’ I make her cuss” -Trey Songz

“The greatest you/the greatest me/we have found the greatest chemistry” -R. Kelly

As a sexual being, it’s your responsibility to learn and know what you need, want, like and don’t like. You have to speak up for yourself and communicate that to your partner. I say don’t be afraid to role play, dress up, be a little more than unconventional despite your mood, location or schedule. Being open-minded (I believe) is beneficial to all involved, but that’s just my standpoint! 😉

“In the thundering rain you stare into my eyes/I can feel your hand moving up my thighs/skirt around my waist, wall against my face/I can feel your lips/I don’t wanna stop just because people walkin’ by watchin us/I don’t give a damn what they think/I want you now” -Janet Jackson

“You screamin’ out ‘have me’, I’m whispering ‘gladly’, I wanna make you feel me baby like you never had me/You done felt good, Imma make you feel better/You done been wet, Imma make you get wetter” -Sammie

-Signed, Can U Handle It?

“give it to me deeper… givin’ me a fever”

“just watch how your body shakes, don’t stop it just let it shake, I’ll control your body tonight”