Archive for the ‘ Family ’ Category

Pinocchio Story

I got ice in my veins, blood in my eyes, hate in my heart, love in my mind. I seen nights full of pain, days of the same. You keep the sunshine, save me the rain. I search, but never find, hurt but never cry. I work and forever try, but I’m cursed so never mind. And it’s worse but better times seem further and beyond. The top gets higher, the more that I climb. The spot gets smaller and I get bigger. Trynna get in where I fit in, no room for a nigga, but soon for a nigga it be on motherf*cka, ’cause all this bullsh*t, it made me strong motherf*cka (Lil Wayne). This year of 2010 has been a major turning point in my world. A lot of things occurred that changed my life forever, for better and better off (no worse). It took some time, but (despite my dislike for clichĂ©s) this happened for my good. Where I want to be needs the foundation my life has laid already. I needed to go through these things. I needed to lose want I lost to gain what I got. I realize when you have great aspirations then most likely the barriers to reaching your dream may be as big as your passions. This is not for the weak-minded. This is not for the easily influenced. This the life that everybody ask for (Kanye), but the cost is great.

…let’s trade shoes just to see what it’d be like to feel your pain, you feel mine, go inside each other’s mind just to see what we find, look at sh*t through each other’s eyes, but don’t let ’em say you ain’t beautiful, they can all get f*cked, just stay true to you… ” -Eminem

Bittersweet Symphony. Lately I’ve been hard to reach, I’ve been too long on my own. Everybody has a private world where they can be alone (Eminem). I have had some very low points this year that I mostly kept to myself. Sometimes life gets so convoluted and arduous that you wish you can hit the reset button, pause it, skip a board or possibly not play at all. I’m no inspirational/motivational speaker so you’re not gonna get the “you can do it and don’t give up” speech from me, because in all honestly, that may not be your story. Not everybody wins. Not everybody tries. Not everybody perseveres. The life you’re living is the life you chose after a certain point in your life. Our circumstances are typically out of our control, but we are not powerless despite how it seems sometimes.

“and promoters try to get me out to their clubs and expect me to have fun, but I can’t imagine how… …and everybody talk and everybody listen, but somehow the truth just always comes up missing…” -Drake

Lost Ones. This has been a year of great distance for me. I have come a long way and have taken much time to grow up. There has also been other sorts of distance that isn’t so pleasant. But time don’t back it goes forward, can’t run from the pain go towards it, some things can’t be explained, what caused it (Jay-Z). I’ve distanced myself from people I would have never dreamed of “losing” (especially both of my parents), but sometimes you have to do what you need to do. Outsiders always think they know something and it’s usually the furthest from the truth. I could care less about those opinions because very few people know me. I just couldn’t pretend everything was okay anymore. Read between the lines ‘what’s f*cked up’ and ‘everything’s alright (Green Day). I’m not the type of person that cannot take being wrong (anymore). At times you could be right in a room full of wrongs and begin to question yourself. That’s what I compare some of those losses to. However, it is what it is and won’t be what it was anymore. Moving along…

“…naw, you wouldn’t understand…” -Biggy

Chemical Romance. People say I’ve got my hands in too many things, keeping time with paupers just as well as kings (Teena Marie). I find this to be one of the greatest oxymoronic aspects of my life. I love ‘love’ yet want nothing to do with it. I’m trying to learn to separate what I want from what I see; what is realistic from what is not sensible. I look at my parents’ relationships, grandparents, aunts, uncles, sisters, brothers, cousins, friends and distant strangers. I typically find myself wondering, did you get into a relationship because you’re sick of being alone or that’s truly the one you wanted? I don’t want to be one of those people that settle for someone that either looks good on paper or is merely around. I think I’m too much. I think too much. [I] live in a mindset that [you] could never move to (Drake). What I want is very simple. ‘Will I get it?’ is the puzzling question that I will leave alone until whenever it needs to be tried. Moving along…

Everyday Struggle. I am still in the transitional phase of finding where I fit in this world, looking for where I want to be and figuring out how I’ll get there. I’m okay with being lost sometimes now. I’ve accepted not having all of the answers, especially since I don’t have all of the questions. Not getting what I want and reminding myself that I’m not a kid anymore is a challenge that I very well need and combat with. I know how it feel to wake up f*cked up (Biggy). I’ve learned not to dwell on things/situations/people I cannot change and to build a bridge and get over it. Easier said than done is what many will say, but most of those people haven’t even tried. Y’all don’t know my struggle, you can’t match my hustle, you can’t catch my hustle, you can’t fathom my love dude (Kanye). I’m at the stage in my life where I’d say I am learning to eat my vegetables and seeing what’s good for me. Though I sometimes (most times) knowingly choose the wrong things, at least I know better. Sometimes (most times) I have to stand alone on some things, but the results are far more worth it. You always gon’ need somebody, but all you got is yourself (Jadakiss). Everyone will never understand you or me nor the decisions we make. Maybe they aren’t supposed to. Maybe some of your dreams ought to be a secret. Others’ input can be dangerous at times. This is my life homie, you decide yours (Kanye). I won’t say that I’ll live everyday as if it were my last, because that would be pure chaos, but I do encourage you to learn yourself and to live forward; we only get one shot at life.

“respect the game, that should be it, what you eat don’t make me sh*t” -Jay-Z

“…talkin’ bullsh*t as if it was for you to know and I don’t have the heart to give these b*tch niggaz the cue to go, so they stick around, kicking out feedback and I entertain it is if I need that…” -Drake

-Signed, Miss Solo Dolo


“…I tell the truth, but I keep runnin’…”

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Mama’s Boyfriend

“You know it makes me unhappy, when brothas make babies and leave a young mother to be a pappy” -Tupac

Single mothers have become the norm for many of us. The reason and responsibility of this reality is not solely on one person. There are many children that grow up with people coming in and out of their lives as if there is a revolving door. If we fast forward to young adulthood from this sort of upbringing and (possible) instability we see the scars that will have broken or made these once innocent kids. Let me make the following clear before I go on: Not all experiences with step parents are negative. Not everyone that has had a bad experience with step parents continue the unfortunate cycle. What I am about to address is not limited to step fathers.

Mommy, Where Daddy Went? Some people have never met their fathers, others can count on their hands how many run-ins they’ve had with pop, and still others could say he was “around” as in knowing who he was. There are many mothers that have those heartbreaking conversations with their children trying to explain the absence of their father, attempting to make excuses for his excuses, doing their best to fill his shoes, but no matter what mom says, nothing takes away the question of “why didn’t he want me? why doesn’t he love me?” Some moms look at this as more reason to hurry in a male figure to try to fill a void that is already permanent unbeknown to mom.

“Look what was handed us. Fathers abandoned us… …Sometimes I feel no one in this world understands us” -Kanye West

Who’s That? In some situations, some of you can remember as a child that some guy kinda popped up and suddenly lived in your house and you can’t sleep in mom’s room anymore. Or for others, maybe this occurred on multiple occasions and you received no warning, explanation or support concerning mom’s decision. Maybe you were too young to understand so you didn’t understand the change in the current. Maybe it made you angry. Maybe you wanted things back to what they once were, because your world just got rocked and you’re wondering in your young mind “who’s that?”

Trust Factor. In some cases, some people get tired of their singleness and meet someone rather sporadically and they become daddy (or mommy). Suddenly a child is left alone with a stranger regularly. Another concern that comes along with these situations is that there are a lot of perverts in this world. There are many women and also men that can remember being violated in their childhood by someone that they were introduced to by someone they trusted.

Under the Influence. Children are like sponges, they absorb their surroundings. If children see fighting, violence, instability, addiction, and so on, that impacts them for life. The mentalities gained here could be used for betterment or a continuance of an unhealthy cycle. There is good reason for there to be two parents in a child’s life, because regardless of how much love a mother has in her heart, she could never teach her son to be a man, and to have another man that is just simply “around” doesn’t help much either. In some cases, boys grow up either hating or disrespecting women because of what they saw or were/weren’t taught. There are young girls giving their bodies and hearts to anyone that would take them because “daddy” wasn’t there to assure them of their worth in the way that only a father could.

“I remember being kicked out the house cuz I looked just like you… Said I’d be nothing but a crook just like you” -Beanie Sigel

It is understandable for a parent to desire companionship. It’s natural. It’s human. But there are others to take into consideration other than self when children are involved. Your children didn’t ask to be here and it’s not their fault nor their responsibility in regards to the circumstances you may be under. It is not their job to raise themselves either. Some parents do not consider the impact (or the dangers) of bringing a new significant (or insignificant) other into their child’s life for the sake of loneliness. Every relationship has risks, but I implore all (single) parents to really take into account who they bring into their children’s worlds.

-Signed, Cycle Ends Here

“You ain’t interested in me, you just trynna f*ck my mom” -Kanye West



“But you left me, now I’m goin to court just like you. I would say “my daddy loves me and he’ll never go away”. Bullsh*t, do you even remember December’s my birthday? Do you even remember the tender boy you turned into a cold young man?” -Jay-Z

That Was Yesterday

There’s this line from a song by 50 Cent where he says, “if it wasn’t for bad luck I wouldn’t have luck” there are many times in my life that I have felt like that was the gist of my world. Why am I saying this? I’m glad you wondered (lol)! I have come to a point in my life where I refuse to dwell on things and especially people that I cannot change. If my power is limited then so is my concern in a sense. By this I mean, I won’t stress myself out over things that are truly out of my hands. All I can be is there at times.

“…I could really use a wish right now…” -B.O.B.

I always loved the quote by Ghandi, “be the change you want to see in the world”. In my experience, those that have taken such a statement and ran with it added a possibly subconscious expectation to Ghandi’s words. Just because you choose to be the change you want to see in the world does not mean that everyone else will. As simple as it sounds, it is a difficult reality for some people to accept. I notice this in every type of relationship. Some people are tick for tack with everything and will not let you forget that you “owe them one”. There’s this episode The Office where Dwight goes out of his way to do favors for people that they didn’t ask for just so that he can say that they owe him one (http://www.nbc.com/The_Office/video/double-date-clip-two/1173102/ <–clip link). Though it was a funny scene, the reality is that there are many than live this way. As I already stated, you can never expect for other people to do what you would have done, how you would have done it or to think as you do. It is unfair, unrealistic, and immature.

“…a friend once said, which I found to be true, that every day people, they lie to God too, so what makes you think that they won’t lie to you?…” -Lauryn Hill

There’s A Difference. At times people will say that they feel unappreciated, which is common. Others will say they have been taken for granted and they might be right. My issue comes in where people say that they have been taken advantage of. I don’t understand how any fully able adult can say that of a person over periods of time and still think they are the victim. I do not throw pity parties. If you choose to allow people to take your kindness for weakness and any of the like, that io\s your own decision. The saying goes “fool me once shame on you; fool me twice shame on me”.

I realize that sometimes people cling to poisonous relationships for multiple reasons and a lot of the time it’s loneliness or they are afraid of losing someone. Though it is surely understandable and I can empathize, however, it is not an excuse. It is a choice and will always be a choice. No matter what, we always have a choice in this life, the options may not be to our liking, but we can always choose something! Consequences may also very.

“It may not be a choice you like, but it is a choice.” -Michelle Pfeiffer, Dangerous Minds

“We must never claim that our relationships with others do not affect us deeply: they do” -Dr. Larry Crabb

At some point, one has to take responsibility for both what and who you allow in your life. You can’t play the victim forever and you can’t live in past glories forever. My old pastor used to give the example of people that maybe won awards or were very successful at some point and how they live in yester-year most likely because they haven’t done anything beyond that one thing since then. That is a sad existence and I wish it on no one.

“…one shot to your heart without breaking your skin, no one can the power to hurt you like you kin/friends…” -India.Arie

I hope that everyone realizes that even though some people may promise you forever, this does not always happen. That can be painful, especially with those closest to you, but it’s a matter of learning how to let go of people who do not want to be kept. That doesn’t mean you can’t care about them anymore. This also doesn’t mean for you to walk through like with a rain cloud over your head and take your frustrations out on those who have done you no harm. There are healthier ways to grieve and let go of a lost relationship. Some things in life you may never get over, but there are ways to manage that as well.

“…in this life we all know that friends may come and they may go, but through it all I know I will stay…” -John Legend

There are three thoughts I hope you take from this: 1) Be mindful of what is actually going on around you before you attempt to play the victim when there are alternatives to your predicament 2) Let your present accomplishments overshadow your past everything 3) Don’t dwell over things you have no control over. It is a given that in life people will hurt us in different ways and a majority of the time it will be those you love the most. I have learned that usually when something bad happens to me (which is more often than not lol), it might get to me at the moment, but typically by the next day (at the latest) I’m fine for the most part. I think to myself, “that was yesterday, I can’t do anything about yesterday”.

“When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don’t want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone. When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can’t make them stay. ” -TD Jakes

-Signed, I wish you well


“…when the dark clouds arise, I will stay by your side… I know we’ll be alright… I will stay you…”

Willing

I figured I would share my thoughts today… Hope you guys enjoy 🙂

Willing

The makings of me,
A blessing and a curse it seems,
An abundance to offer,
But no worthy heir to give it,
Dreamed a life and hope I live it,
I just want to be…

Be comfort to stress,
Quiet to noise,
Faith to uncertainty and doubt,
Music and inspiration to writer’s block,
Rhythm to blues,
I just want to help…

Encourage your dreams,
Play my role, know my place, give you space,
Explore limitless levels of passion together,
Discover desires and needs,
Remind you of your potential,
I just want to know…

Your favorite song, because it matters to me too,
Your middle name, have your last name,
Where you want to go and how I can be there,
What you want to eat regardless of the time,
When you need space and not take it personal,
I just want to…

Explore sensuality and creativity,
Make you feel masculinely beautiful,
Touch finger tips and feel electricity,
Kiss you good morning and then on your lips too,
Entertain you while you watch the game,
Make you laugh when it hurts,
Nurture your children,
Fall in love with the things I can’t stand about you,
Know that I can work your nerves,
Penetrate your brain and vibe with your mind,
Clean the house in just heels,
Be honest even when it hurts,
Persevere through drama,
Agree to disagree,
Make you smile when you wonder if it’s all worth it,
Do chores that I hate, but realize your comfort supersedes that,
Be your lover and best friend,
Make vows and maintain them til the last breath…

So here I am, willing,
I’m just missing ‘worthy’,
I was once told I need a man not a boy,
And I need a husband not a project,
I’ll wait…

“..if you can’t make me c-o-m-e in my m-i-n-d, then you ain’t got me..”

“I want to fall in love with the medley of the phone when your number dials into it type love”

Family Business

I want to forewarn you that there will be A LOT of pictures in this post (lol). The saying goes something to the effect of “you can choose your friends, but you cannot choose your family.” In most cases that saying is usually stated in a negative light, because let’s be honest, family can be a real pain in your everything! I come from a really big family, just based off of siblings alone, but even beyond that I have certain relatives that I grew up with that are close too. The funny thing is that though we are all much older now and pretty much all going in different directions, when we get together, for whatever reason, that bond is still there as if it were a childhood pact to always be familiar with each other.

me & Walt

me & my sisters

bro, mom, me

me & my brother

The Beginning of “Insiders”. One thing I love about my childhood is that we never knew we were broke! We didn’t understand cheap, we made the best of everything because that’s just what we did as kids. We were tight and to this day we still are, despite many fights, flat out rumbles and free-for-alls (I think that’s the term). We’ve learned to love each other so much that in all honesty, my family can tend to be the ones I “hate” most because they have that much of my heart. I’ve realized that it takes some amount of caring to truly “hate” someone or for them to at least be able to get to you. I read somewhere online once that “love isn’t the opposite of hate, apathy is,” and I would say I agree. Joy and Pain. We’ve been through it, under it, around it, whatever, but it was together in some way, shape or form. Even if it got to points where you didn’t want to be bothered with family at all you can always come back because at the end of the day that is all I have in this world. My family is the only thing (aside from God) that has stood the test of time with me, not boy friends, home girls, church family, childhood friends and all, just them. Though we may not all like our families, I encourage you to “love your family for where they are not where you think they should be.”




I may be repeating myself, but these people and the many others whose pictures are missing mean a lot to me. My hope is that the next generation grew up even half as close as we did!

-Signed, I Wouldn’t Trade You For The World

R.I.P. Haady.. we are coming up on the anniversary since you've been gone and it's still like yesterday. I love you lil cuz

I meant every word "..if we could break down those walls to set you free.. we would cuz we down here and we miss you.." -Lupe Fiasco

“..if you said u ain’t did it, then you ain’t didn’t and if you did, well that;s family business..”

Is Anything You’re Doing Brand New?

This post is so personal that I’m just gonna give y’all words. No pictures, just real heartfelt words. We are all teachers whether we know it or like it or not. We teach people about ourselves. Regardless of what we say, which also teaches if we keep to our word, people learn of primarily by our choice/course of action. The things I am about to mention are only from the world through my eyes. Things I have witnessed and/or experienced on some level. Something I am very passionate about, to the point that I don’t even understand it is relationships. Interaction, reaction, communication, miscommunication, ups, downs, smooth beginnings, rough endings, endurance, commitments, and so on. For some reason relationships of all kind fascinate me. It’s interesting that the type of relationship that attracts me most is the one I’m most hesitant in pursuing which is love. In my world there is a majority of men that don’t know how to be men and women that don’t know how to be women. They may not have told me this verbatim, but they show me this explicitly. What follows is just a snap shot of my life in its entirety as far as influence is concerned in this area. The sad thing is, these things are not just a thing of the past, but is still very prevalent, if not worse. The more unfortunate part is majority of the following is within my family.

What I learned from women: Complain about how you feel to everyone, but the one who is actually your problem. Look for things you know you don’t want to know about or see. Cover up for him if he hits you because you can’t let him go. There is nothing worse in the world than to be without a man, even if it is at the expense of my children’s safety, time, and/or feelings. In order to get a guy’s attention, sometimes you have to sell yourself a little cheap. If I trap him with this baby, he will have to stay or he’ll have to pay for it. It’s okay to be second, third or even the fourth woman in his life, just as long as I’m apart of his world. I will settle, even if it means I am miserable. Sex is all I have to bargain with, that’s what will make him stay. Even if I have to hurt myself, I need his attention. I’m not worth working nor waiting for. It isn’t considered prostituting myself because we are both getting what we want. I don’t care if this baby isn’t his, he’s paying for this abortion. I don’t care if my kids are with me, if I see that b*tch he’s f*ckin’, then it’s on. TI didn’t want to do this and I said no, but it wasn’t rape, and I don’t want him to go. He doesn’t see how much I cry and he won’t, because that means he wins. He makes me feel worthless, I can’t leave him now because I believe it. Well at least he isn’t as bad as “so-and-so’s” man.

What I learned from men: If she lets me get away with it once when I’m caught, then she always will. When trouble comes, I’m out. I don’t care how what I do affects you or my daughters, it’s about what I want. I don’t care if that’s her best friend, I want to try her too. If I hit her, I will take her to the hospital because I love her and will hang my head when the doctor asks why she’s here. I think I love you, but I don’t respect you. It is never okay to say I don’t know what I’m doing or that I’m scared. I never have to change if she accepts it, I don’t need to grow up. I will make a great effort in the beginning to reel her in, then it’s whatever I want. Any woman can be bought. There will always be at least one woman on the side. Why work for anything when others will give it up for free? I lie because the truth requires me to take responsiblity for my actions and choices. I have no staying power. Women are things. Any conversation I pursue with a female will be about her body and/or sex. I’ll come home when I feel like it, it doesn’t matter who is worried. If she doesn’t give me what I want in the time I feel she should, I’m gone. I really don’t need a reason to walk out.

“…where’s love? other than inside of my mind.. I’m trynna find peace in this lifetime.. ..tired of being treated like a cute little thing with no brain..” – R-Swift

Ball of Confusion. A question that I get very frequently and consistently is “why don’t you have a boyfriend?” and the above has a great amount of reason to do with that. I have blogged about this question specifically before so if you’d like, check out “Matters of the Heart: Can You Handle This –> http://wp.me/pw1qn-1i

I have no role models. I do know that I don’t want to be a repeat of any of these things. I won’t say that sometimes it isn’t tempting to be this way because it requires less effort, but it’s just not me. My hope is to teach my possible future children what a woman is and that they’re father would show them what a man is. That my husband will teach my little girl that she doesn’t have to settle for a “boy” that thinks her body is right and act as if she owes him something. My hope is he instill a worth and standards in her, that she only consider a young man that will love her appropriately. My hope is he would show my son how to value and cherish a woman’s worth, to protect his sister and to respect his mother always. That I play my role as well and end this destructive cycle that has polluted my world view.

I am always the first to say to a guy that’s interested in me that just because I don’t say anything doesn’t mean I don’t know or notice anything. I give people a fair shot, but am very aware of the signs, even in the smallest areas that challenge character and show me truly what kind of person they are.

Skim the Book. We have all heard “don’t judge a book by its cover,” yet we all do. Some of us are honestly not interested in any sort of “reading” at all, but I feel as though it is at least fair to skim the pages with some people, because nobody does anything for no reason. I challenge you all when you first meet people to ask them about their family, parents and who had major impact on their life whether good or bad, because chances are those people had a lot to do with why the person does certain things or maybe doesn’t do certain things. Sometimes we get too quickly and easily offended that we don’t attempt to figure people out a little bit. We walk around as if we don’t have the ability to long-suffer or short-suffer people, but are selfishly seeking instant gratification then on to whatever else is in our path. I challenge you all to push yourselves beyond your comfort zone. This generation claims to “not be like everyone else” but do what everyone else does. So ask yourself, “is anything you’re doing brand new?”

-Signed, Hesitant

“..like I ain’t tell you from day one, I ain’t sh*t, when it comes to relationships, I don’t have the patience.. ..I’m still young and I aint ready.. ..this is ugly, ___ please don’t love me.. ..soon you’ll understand..” – Jay-Z

“..Hold on, I’m not really trying to go through this again,
I’m not jumpin up and down about lovin (excuse me if)
I don’t wanna dive back in to that pool of love, I’m done swimming I’m done,
See I don’t feel like getting to know you,
What you like to eat,
What you like to do,
See that’s too much information to deal with,
Play the love game with another cuz I quit..”

“..Can you forgive me, I know it might sound crazy,
But right now my hearts a little lazy,
Tired of opening up tired of caring,
I don’t feel like lovin you, don’t feel like lovin you,
Can you forgive me, I know it might sound crazy,
But who knew love could be so draining..”

Bridge:

Throwing Shade

There is a battle going on within one people. There are actually several battles between this one people. Who are these people? Black people. Which battle am I referring to this time? Complexion. Why? Ask yourself, because I am not too certain myself. This is an unfortunate reality.

The Battle of Complexions. Light skin. Brown skin. Dark skin. What’s “better“? Who “wins“? We discriminate harshly against ourselves because of color, yet demand equality in the world. How oxymoronic. How can we step forward if we are standing still? There are people who despise people who involve themselves with other black people of a certain complexion. For example, if your mother is dark skin and you, the son, is dark skin, your mother may be offended if you bring a “red bone” girl home. And it works all other types of ways causing unnecessary drama among our people.

Should It Really Matter? I don’t think skin tone should matter. Yes, I have preferences as far as who I am attracted to, but guess what, I didn’t start my criteria there, in fact skin tone isn’t in my criteria. The heart wants what it wants. Technically I have never had my alleged “type”, not even complexion wise. Why? Because it never really happened that way and I’m not pressed about it. There is so much more to value in people than that. I challenge you to ask yourself a few questions:

  1. When you were a child, did skin tone matter in who you played with?
  2. Does skin tone matter now?
  3. Are you impartial to a certain skin tone?

I didn’t ask those questions looking for a right or wrong answer, but to provoke thought. That is why I write. Not to sway anyone, but that you think something, even if it’s that my blog sucks (lol). At least you took the time to read it to find that out. I find that when you unfairly discriminate, you miss out on people. Whether it is because of complexion, social status, style, personality, whatever it is. You could be passing up a good friend or maybe more because you decided not to give somebody a chance.

This picture is just a snippet of people in my world. Some have been around forever, some are very new. There are some that may be around for a season, others a lifetime. How did they get there? Several different ways. It had nothing to do with the skin tone they were born with either and it didn’t matter then and it doesn’t matter now. I can confidently say that for me, it will never matter.

I have a big family, about 13 siblings, and four of my sisters are light skin. I never saw it as a big deal growing up. We all got treated the same, except for Jas, she got special treatment (smh) for other reasons lol. It wasn’t until I got older and began to see the world that I saw that the world “separated” us in a sense. I didn’t let it affect my relationships with my family though, but I was definitely made aware. I’m not color blind. I realize we look different, and then what? I don’t think we should stay at the obvious point. I use the term “throwing shade” a lot, and unfortunately it seems like as a unit we are using shade to throw shade at each other. What do you think?

-Signed, I’m just me