He’ll Be Fine

For some of us, the chase is more intriguing than the actual capture. For others of us, the world ought to be all about the capture. This is only the mere beginning of the confusion that leads to the heightened problem of trying to make one person the former or the latter. It isn’t my job to say who is right or wrong, but I will point out the obvious differences that some people (usually females) love to disregard. You always hear the “he was so great in the beginning” stories, which may very well be true, but if you knew the game you would understand.

“I thought you were the answer to the question in my mind, but I was wrong” -Mary J. Blige

Boys Will Be Boys. A part of me hates that saying, but it is what it is. Most males are only as committed as the moment or their options. A big issue is the delussional amounts of females that think they have magic vagina that will keep a man chasing her. Am I saying that all men cheat? No. What I am saying is that the men that do cheat do not all cheat for the same reasons. You can’t say I don’t love you just because I cheat on you. You don’t see all I do to keep you from knowing the things I do (John Legend). The truth is tough to hear and even harder to swallow (pause), but that doesn’t make it any less than what it is. In many cases, lack of a father, a compromising mother, a lifetime of chick flicks, countless love song albums and chances are you have before you a pretty unstable young woman. A young woman who knows that all she truly wants is to be happy and will do whatever she must to get it, even if she has to ignore the obvious. The signs are almost always already there that this is not something you should get yourself into, but you hope in your heart for your fairytale miracle…

“Boy, I need you to meet me half way if you want me to be with you” -Keyshia Cole (but did he ask?)

Chasing Pavements. There is a grand difference between being wrongfully led on and making entire situations up in your mind. For example, responsibilities of a boyfriend being placed on a man that isn’t yours is creating your own problem. The other side of that is having unrealistic expectations for your partner. These things are irrational and you need to check yourself. Leading people on is shady and at some point in your life you need to learn to detect this, if not then maybe you need to get opinions from those who can because nobody wants to hear about the 25 year old that somehow keeps getting screwed over. Yeah right, but you’re in love like every other week too? If you wanted to be treated like an adult you also need to grow up and deal with adult situations. While all the time that I was loving you, you were busy loving yourself. I would stop breathing if you told me to, but now you’re busy loving someone else (Mary J. Blige). That is a dangerous mindset. I understand your feelings. I feel them. That doesn’t justify your actions. If you were so meant to be, he’d call. He would never ignore you, disrespect you, get at your friends and whatever other trifling drama that occurs. Many just don’t want to accept reality, but that does not mean that reality does not exist. You can’t expect someone that is irresponsible in every other area in their life to do right by you.

“Don’t wanna lose ya. Don’t even own ya. I just wanna stay right here until never dawns, yeah.” -Corinne Bailey Rae

Why Are You Mad At “HER”? I’m riding home in pain again baby, and that don’t mean sh*t to you. You’re currently engaged in an intimate conversation with a young groupie or two. See players only love you when they’re playing games, still I gave my heart to you (Mariah Carey). The arch enemy! The other woman! For centuries this is the beef. It’s comedic. It’s sad. It’s a mess. When it comes to your alleged man messing around, that ought to be an issue with you two instead of you calling, harassing, arguing with, fighting, threatening, stalking the other female. I know it’s easier to trigger the energy to the other party whether or not the person knew about you, but the problem is your significant other (and maybe even you). Leave that woman alone and handle your business. People will only do to you what you allow them to get away with.

“And I try to front like ‘oh well’ each time you’ve let me down.” -Mariah Carey

Don’t get me wrong. I understand every feeling, however, to continually put yourself in those situations are pure insanity and people like that get no sympathy from me. In most cases, more females want to replace everything they never had in life with the love of a “man” and that just isn’t the way things work. It’s tough, because you hope almost every one you meet is the one because you want the search to be over. A big part of the issue is that you don’t do a self-assessment first. Get your own life together before you invite someone else into your messy house. My hope is that all of you put more effort into the damage control (that is yourself) than into someone that could most likely care less. You realize these guys don’t alter anything about their everyday and you change your number, clothes, hair, voice, eating habits, hobbies and affiliations. This is a sad reality. Let “him” go. Don’t be afraid to live better for yourself, because he’ll be fine with or without you.

-Signed, Yesterday I Fell In Love……..


“We said ‘let go’, but I kept on hanging on… inside I know it’s over, you’re really gone… it’s killing me cuz there ain’t nothing that I can do… baby, I stay in love with you… …how we gon act like what we had is nothing at all?”


“and I remember what you used to say…. we ride, we ride until the day that we die”

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    • d “picklestick” white
    • March 11th, 2011

    That’s food for thought. I definitely altered.some things n he is just the same as day 1…

  1. You’re right. I realized a while ago that reading signs is very important because sometimes we’re so caught up in “moments” we don’t see the things that are really in our faces. I won’t even lie, I’m beyond skeptical of guys now, all of the sweet little words don’t work on me. I think the ironic thing is how much guys speak on how women form standards… now while I agree that sometimes women go overboard with them, sometimes it’s needed. The older I got the more I realized, “Hey, you need better than what you were getting, up your standards.” At this point in time, I don’t care if a guy thinks I’m stuck up or whatever, I’m going to look out for me, because these guys sure won’t.

    • haitianpatty
    • March 12th, 2011

    Very well put, nothing else needs to be said here.

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