Test Of Time

Love! It’s something every person desires in some respect and one of the most complex things we encounter in life, even in the midst of it still occasionally asking yourself “what is it? and if it is, am I doing it right?” In the Bible there are two different types of love, agape and phileo (in Greek), which is unconditional and brotherly love. My focus will be on agape in romantic endeavors. Be reminded, I’m no specialist and this is my own opinion and I’m entitled to it :-).

It’s Work And Play. It seems natural to yearn for the positive things in a relationship and I am not saying there is anything wrong with that, but there needs to be a balance. Being realistic isn’t far-fetched, look at your world around you… life happens and it isn’t always “dandy” to say the least. There will be wonderful times and rough times, what you need to know for/about yourself is what you’re willing to put up with.

“I been your baby, and I don’t know why you don’t seem like that no more.. welcome to the new definition of love” -Mary J. Blige

“What about the crazy fights? What about the sleepless nights? What about a brother’s ego? What about the sacred vows? How do lover’s work it out? There’s much more than the tango” -Chrisette Michele

Get Passed Your Past.We all have a past and I always say that it is never fair to hold someone elses wrongs against you against someone else. You can’t play the victim your entire life and you also can’t expect the other person to take the heat for another person. Sometimes it’s a matter of maybe you make bad choices in who you get into relationships with or a plethora (love that word lol) of reasons. Look in the mirror often, don’t point the finger, bend the elbow and point back at yourself first. It isn’t fair to have unrealistic expectations on someone else and you know you aren’t a piece of cake either. Know your limits and truly evaluate if a relationship is something you can commit to before you drag someone else into your mess. A relationship should consists of two whole people not someone looking to be completed.

“Fussin’ and fightin’, we back at it again.. I know that, its my fault, but you don’t understand.. I got memories.. this is crazy.. you ain’t nothing like the girl I used to know” -Omarion

Work It Out. In all relationships there is some level of disagreement. No two people will ever agree on every single thing so why trip when this happens? Love will make you do some silly things at times, but if it’s worth it, hopefully you will do whatever it takes. Sometimes people have never witnessed a succesful relationship and don’t know how to love you and maybe you need to step up and open up about that. Be vulnerable enough to tell them what you want, like, and need. The saying goes “a closed mouth doesn’t get fed,” so follow suit.

“I was always taught to be strong.. never let them think you care at all.. Let no one get close to me.. Before you and me” -Musiq

“Sometimes I love you more than you’ll ever know.. Other times you get on my nerves.. That’s just reality.. No, it can’t always be kisses, hugs, and beautiful words” -Ne-Yo

Is It Worth It? If you are truly all in it, sometimes you have to “take one for the team” and decide, “you know what, it doesn’t matter who’s right or wrong, WE are more important than this” only IF that is your mentality. There are times where you have to stop yourself and say “is who’s right really that important? am I really going to go hours or days without them (that I can’t get back) because I want to be right?” I think that’s petty. Though there are points where you might need to have some time apart for the sake of peace, that’s different and in certain cases, not over foolishness. Grow up.

“Gonna swallow my pride.. say I’m sorry.. stop pointing fingers the blame is on me” -Boys II Men

100/100. I always say I have no interest in a 50/50 relationship, but 100/100. When you are all in, it’s difficult to nitpick about what someone is not doing because you’re loving them regardless, because that’s what you chose to do. It’s nothing like the friendly competition of trying to out-love each other lol. It can be a beautiful thing if you can set aside your selfishness for a moment. Don’t wait until it’s too late to offer your best!

“She said she’s tired that I’m always on the road..Too hard to swallow.. being alone.. She needs someone at night that she can hold.. She must have told me a thousand times before.. Silent cries I use to ignore.. God knows I love her.. Didn’t mean to hurt her” -Anthony Hamilton

“Just copped your girl a brand new Rolex.. But you can never find the time to spend at home.. Thinkin’ it’s gon’ keep her happy.. When time is all she wanted all along.. Searching for what’s right in front of your face.. But you can’t see it” -Usher

“It ain’t all roses.. flowers imposing.. said it ain’t all candy.. this love stuff is demanding.. Sometimes I need a hug..” -Mary J. Blige

-Signed, that’s the thing about love

“..Someone who will put up with the things.. Loving me can bring.. But still be there to see us through.. Someone who would put up with the strange and complicated things.. Cause I would do the same for her too..” -Musiq

    • the haitian
    • April 12th, 2010

    wow!! very well said. i’m happy i’m finally in a healthy relationship with a wonderful–no, freakin AWESOME man. (…and to think i would have thrown that all away because of one very very shallow thing. thanks boo, you saved me from making a very stupid mistake…)

  1. This post really hit home because I’m going through a situation right now where we’re always fighting but I care about him a great deal that there are times when I just say screw it, you’re right. But sometimes when I do this, it makes things worse… so to me at times, it’s a lose/lose situation unless both people reach equilibrium, not being wrong or right but both understanding one another. We’re at a point where I think he’s worth keeping around, but it does get hard at times, I will admit that.

    • TVhasVision
    • April 12th, 2010

    @my haitian yay boo! and I’m happy for you guys 🙂
    @shannerz girl, tell me about it… but like you said, he’s worth keeping around, so if that is what your mind and heart is set on then what it takes to maintain that is just something to deal with. I hope y’all continue to work through differences and learn to love each other 🙂

    thanks for the feedback

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