Archive for March, 2010

UNPRETTY: Is Weave Necessity or Accessory?

Do you feel unatTRACKtive? This topic came to mind because of a conversation I had with my older brother the other day, he said he had no idea that some (or many) wear weave because their insecure. I realize this can be a very touchy subject, especially for black women. We’ve all heard it said that black women don’t play when it comes to their hair whether it’s weave or not. I’m not one of those people that are gonna say “go natural sis, that’s the only way to show you’re confident in yourself.” I find that to be a little extreme, people can do as they please with their hair and if as you please is getting a weave then so be it. The issue that I see and have experienced when it comes to wearing weave is the intent and goal of the individual. It makes me wonder if a woman on the road to rid herself of habitual insecurities stops the changes when it comes to that. It’s interesting the power that hair has (weave or not) it can provide a confidence that was lacking or even put women in competition with each other.

“..I wish I could tie you up in my shoes, make you feel unpretty too.. I was told I was beautiful, but what does that mean to you?.. look into the mirror who’s inside there?.. the one with the long hair.. same old me again today..” -TLC “Unpretty”

My Story. For some getting a weave is almost equivalent to buying a necklace, just something you decided to do, but to others it can determine if they see daylight. A couple years back, none of my closest friends had never seen my real hair unless they were a part of the process of it getting done. I had a boyfriend for a couple years that never saw neither my hair or feet, but I doubt he ever noticed that. I had and still have certain insecurities about myself, though thankfully many have faded, the hair thing was probably the biggest step.

“..there’s no clothes that I could buy that could turn back the time.. there is no vacation spot I could fly that could bring back a piece of real life.. real life, what does it feel like? I ask you tonight, I ask you tonight.. what does it feel like, I ask you tonight.. to live a real life.. I just want to be a real boy they always say Kanye, he keeps it real boy.. Pinocchio story is, I just want to be a real boy..” -Kanye West “Pinnochio Story”

high school flick

high school flick

Back in 2006 (I think) was one of my first real attempts to rid myself of my obsession with weave because I honestly didn’t feel “pretty” without it. I did rock my hair out for a few months, but then one day due to a bad perm and coloring situation I was brought back to square one. It’s like if my hair isn’t done, I don’t feel the need to dress up, I think “what’s the point?” There were times that I didn’t go to school over my hair, whether my mom let me stay home or not, i was going out like that and they didn’t let us wear hats. Some of the decisions I’ve make and sometimes occasionally make seem drastic, but I’m only telling the truth. Learning to love yourself and being content with who you are (especially without reinforcement) is a great challenge.

senior prom flick

senior prom flick

throwback flick

throwback flick

'08

'08 the last weave I had for a long time

“..you can buy your hair if it won’t grow.. you can fix your nose if he says so.. you can buy all the make-up that MAC can make, but if you can’t look inside you.. find out who am I to be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty..” -TLC

When it comes to my hair I will and did spend my last. If it were between my cell phone bill and my hair, hair wins, no questions asked. It is a very challenging habit to break, it still is. Weave was once an addition, a must, as if it were a lifeline, now it’s an option. I’m glad to say that for the sake of proving this to myself that I think I’ve had one or two weaves within the last almost two years and have been pretty okay with it. I am now more open to getting weave (sometimes) for matters of convenience and also experimenting.

I don’t want to live in any sort of bondage. I know that everything I dislike about myself whether it be physical, emotional, personality-wise and so on will never be “perfect”, it doesn’t hurt to strive for bettering myself continually. I encourage you ladies out there to look in the mirror and ask yourself some tough questions. I encourage you men to challenge yourself to be mindful of realistic expectations you may place on a lady.

'09 WEAVE FREE!

'09 WEAVE FREE!

I even went ALL natural for a bit

I even went ALL natural for a bit

“..I’m not the average girl from your video and I ain’t built like a supermodel.. but, I learned to love myself unconditionally, because I am a queen..” -India.Arie

-Signed, A Recovering Weave-aholic

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