Archive for November, 2009

A Strong Woman

I would first like to state that the following is MY opinion… Now that is out of the way.. I shall proceed!

Someone posed the question: What is a “strong” woman?

That is a question asked many times with several implications, but I can only speak for myself, so my response is based on my own opinion, values, and religious beliefs. (There are several attributes of a “strong woman”” can also be said of a man by the way). I think a strong woman is one that embraces her femininity (womanliness). I believe that is very important because it seems that in our society to be “feminine” is equivalent to being “weak” and maybe that is due to a lack of understanding as to what true femininity is. And to embrace it, I mean accept and cherish what is natural. For example, women are naturally nurturers, some sweet, kind, vulnerable, like feeling protected, desires to protect, and a host of other wonderful things. Some might look at those things as weak because daintiness/softness doesn’t seem really strong to certain people. I disagree.

I believe it takes a strong person to humble themselves. It takes a strong person to admit that they are wrong. It takes a strong person to admit they need help. It takes a strong person to be open/vulnerable. It takes a strong person to accept who they are. And along with this strength there needs to be wisdom.

I am a young woman who has my own goals and future on my mind constantly. I am very ambitious, independent, outspoken and all that jazz, but I have NO problem with femininity. I don’t aspire to act manly for the sake of appearing strong, I am just fine in my own skin.

Most talk about a strong woman is usually focused around relationships. My personal view on male/female relationships will follow. I will address it from a husband/wife perspective, because that is the male/female relationship that I would hold to highest regard in this “debate” that usually stirs. I will limit it to 3 things.

  1. I have no problem submitting to a husband. This does not mean I am a “yes man”. This does not mean I don’t express my views or have no voice. This does not mean I am powerless. By submit, I am willing to allow my husband to lead our household. In my experience a lot of women have trouble grasping this concept because the men they have in their lives aren’t “good men” for lack of a better term.
  2. I have no problem serving a husband. I’m not interested in 50/50, but rather 100/100. I refuse to be the bitter wife that will only do what I think he deserves, because that isn’t what I signed up for. I have no problem treating my man like a king everyday and making it a goal in life to do it better everyday. I value marriage vows and other vows as well and don’t think they should be conditional. And that is a MAJOR reason I am very picky, selective, stuck-up, or whatever you want to call it about the man I decide is worth me giving up some things.
  3. I have no problem with compromise, it is not a curse word.  compromise -a settlement of differences by mutual concessions; an agreement reached by adjustment of conflicting or opposing claims, principles, etc., by reciprocal modification of demands. (Definition from dictionary.com). I was once told that there is a difference between being right and dead right. Sometimes it isn’t about whose right, but sometimes the greater thing at hand, whatever it may be. I refuse to let my foolish pride or attitude be a cancer to my marriage.

With all of that being said, pride does not equal strength and all my believers out there should know that very well. I try to choose my battles in life wisely and know my place as far as not stressing over things I cannot change, especially people. It is not my job or yours. And this is just in generalities, there is sooo much more that can be said. So it is pretty late and my thought are all over the place, so I will leave it here.

Signed, a super woman 🙂

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You Never Loved Me

What do you do when you go to the hospital and get sicker than you were when you had first arrived? Do you stay? Do you hope that it is one of those things that gets worse before it gets better? Or do you find another place and pray for a better outcome? Here’s a third option, do you say to yourself “maybe none of the hospitals are what I need”? I don’t have an answer to these questions..

I have come to despise promises. Why? Because they usually don’t happen. The only promise I have left to believe in is Jesus, everything else is trivial (though I know there are those of you consider my one true Promise debatable). To that, I say, have your debate, but He’s all I got in this world.

You ever fall in “love” or “like”? The feeling is indescribable! You ever still be in love or like and wonder if you are the only one still “in it”? That feeling also is indescribable in a very different way. When all the “sparks” are gone, you are left with what you didn’t see, which was already there, but you weren’t looking at that during the time.

..it used to feel like heaven, it used to feel like May.. – Corinne Bailey Rae

Sometimes I wish there were things that I didn’t know, but I want the truth so bad that it comes with the territory. I am learning a lot about myself, the world, and my world. It is as interesting as it is painful. As intriguing as it is discouraging. It is like an ongoing oxymoron of things that you just can’t take you eyes off of.

The sad thing is.. (since the Fall).. it has always been this way… “There is no new thing under the sun”

You may have noticed I went in different areas, but they all come together here. I’ve tried the “hospital” time & time again. I’ve taken people at their word and learned to maintain high standards and low expectations. I am no longer ever shocked at what someone has done regardless of who it is. I don’t allow other people to tell me who I am because how could they know? I don’t allow other people to choose my destiny for me or accept their opinions of me as truth. Just because someone calls me something doesn’t make me that whether it be positive or negative. And as far love, I take that word with a grain of salt because I realize people are going to tell me they “love” me for the rest of my life. Time will tell though. And lastly, even though it hurts, I still want the truth, because a life of a facade isn’t worth the air I breathe. I’m not sure how my story plays out by detail, but I know that my fate is sealed and extraordinary is the title of “me”.

I encourage you all to seek truth, wisdom, work out your salvation with fear & trembling (seriously), be sincere & real with yourself, learn to take the high road, desire to know what it means to love unconditionally, and a boat load of other things I just didn’t type (lol). So where am I on this word called life? Good question! I think about this song lyric by Corinne Bailey Rae, she says:

..please don’t ask me where I’m goin’, cuz I don’t know.. anymore..

  

-Signed, a weary soldier

“What if I give up?
What if I never live up to all these rules,
I’m goin crazy, maybe it’s me I’m sick of,
It’s like I slip, I sin & then I taunt You,
Lord, I know I need You.. I’m not sure if I want You,
It’s not easy.. I like this deceit.. I like being weak,
I’m confused, God, I hate being me,
My God, My Lord, I’m sorry.. don’t hate me,
I love You.. it’s just lately I’m straying,
Don’t walk away please.. just stay,
You hearing this apology I’m making,
But the thing is, I’m not sure if I mean it when I say it,
Please just take it..
I’m sorry..

lyrics from the songThe Prayer (Soldiers)” by Lano Medina”