Archive for May 24th, 2009

FRIENDS: How Many of Us Have Them?

I have always been one to prefer to keep my circle small. The more people that know too much of your business, the greater the drama it seems. Besides, I would rather know 2 or 3 people really well than have 10 that I am sort of familiar with. The toughest part of any of my relationships with people seems to be disappointment, maybe because it’s inevitable and constant. But the type of disappointment that bugs me more so lately is inconsistency.

Maybe I am one of those people that wears their heart on their sleeve in the sense that I don’t put on masks or fronts. I don’t–better yet can’t put on a front like everything is cool when it isn’t. I don’t pretend to miss people I don’t miss. I won’t be jo with people I dislike (I don’t treat them like crap either). I just don’t like when I am approached as if I owe someone something when they have been missing in action in my world for a while. Don’t get me wrong, I do have those friends where even if it’s been years apart we can still pick up where we left off, but in those cases there is usually a strong foundation that keeps that going.

It’s frustrating to watch the revolving door of my life at times, but I prefer to allow that door to turn on its own. I refuse to ever try to hold on to people that don’t want to be kept anymore. Why pursue what doesn’t want to be pursued? Why bother what prefers to be unbothered. Why chase what has moved on?

It is easier said than done though because I realize I am very relational. Even if I dislike someone, they are still a person therefore I still care. I just gotta learn to put people in their lil “box” or section/category so I don’t over react or even under react… I’m learning though… Any thoughts?

-Signed… maybe there is good in good-bye

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